Time To Read the Tea Leaves
Dear Margo: I am no longer speaking to my best friend of 20 years, “Katie,” who is also godmother to my daughter. Two years ago, she and her husband were invited by my husband to a surprise 50th birthday party for me. They did not attend, stating the 10-day RSVP timeframe was not sufficient for them to plan to travel from New York to Pennsylvania (four to five hours).
Two weeks prior, they had returned home from a trip dealing with her mother’s belongings and difficult family members. While on that trip, they decided to take a six-hour drive to see other friends for a mini-vacation. They said they weren’t up for another road trip for my 50th. I understood, but I did expect a phone call or, at the very least, a card. I received neither. After a month, Katie called just to chat. It was a strained conversation. Afterward, she wrote me a letter with her excuses and told me that I am not a real friend to think she would not have sent me a card. She said it must have gotten lost in the mail.
This past January, we invited Katie and her husband to my daughter’s Sweet 16 party. They declined, but did send her something. In June, we sent them an invite to her confirmation; Katie is her godmother, and we felt she would want to be at this important event. We received an e-mail declining, and my daughter did not even receive a card from her godmother.
I keep hoping they will just show up at one of our parties or make some type of good-will gesture so that all will be forgiven and we can move on. I feel that our daughter should somehow be connected to her godmother, but my husband feels differently. What would you suggest? — Peeved and Perplexed in Pa.
Dear Peeve: You cannot make a godparent pay attention, as it is an honorary position to begin with. Clearly, some people take it more seriously than others. From what you’re reporting, this two-decades-long friendship may have run its course. For myself, I would accept that the curtain has fallen on the closeness for the reason that her actions (or lack of them) suggest she has already moved on. It is always too bad when these things happen, but people change, life happens, and there you are. — Margo, regretfully
Dear Margo: I hope you can help me. I am a college man whose cousin may be in a lot of trouble. He asked me to help him drive some big sacks of an unidentified substance out of state. He said we would have to drive absolutely within the speed limits because we could not afford to be stopped by the police. I of course asked what was in the sacks, but all he would say was, “It’s best you don’t know.” We made it to our destination, and the man on the receiving end looked really scruffy — unshaven and kind of like a gangster. Do you think I have an obligation to turn in my cousin? And should it be to the state police or the sheriff? I am pretty sure that drugs were in the sacks — or at least pot. — Tormented Cousin
Dear Tor: So, are you excited about starting 8th grade? — Margo, satirically
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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at www.creators.com/dear-margo.html. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
COPYRIGHT 2012 MARGO HOWARD
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