And more from our Liz: History lessons from Mrs. Palin, the motorcycle mama … Happy birthday, Mark Wahlberg … Lady Gaga — only alive onstage?
“MY MOM told me that you get those holes in your face … craters … from giving blow jobs. I totally believed her. She’s like ‘It’s from that.’ I’m like ‘Ewwww!’”
That was Paris Hilton a few years ago, when her public image was high (or low, depending on your standards.) Needless to say, Paris’s boyfriend at the time convinced her — as any man would — that Paris’ mom, Kathy Hilton, was simply incorrect.
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I WAS reminded of that quote from Paris, about a week ago when I caught Miss Hilton and her mom on Piers Morgan. Paris was there, ostensibly, to promote her reality show, “The World According to Paris.” But Kathy Hilton did most of the talking — and crying. Paris was virtually immobile, facially frozen, giving brief monosyllabic responses.
Kathy was quite chatty, however. Her weeping came at the mention of Paris’s infamous sex tape. Paris looked bored. The elder Hilton was also there to promote her own coming line of clothes. It was unfortunate, however, that Kathy — a very attractive woman — wore a dress that had a whiff of Marjorie Main to it, with badly placed and shaped pockets over her bust. Well, maybe she’ll bring this look back, along with Pa Kettle. Kathy Hilton did have some interesting things to say about Michael Jackson, with whom she claimed a close friendship, right to the very end.
The Hiltons made actual news (sorry, Piers!) when they stopped in to visit all my friends on “The View.” Barbara Walters chided Paris for the superficiality of her reality show, and was especially concerned that Paris was seen complaining about the public service duties she is obliged to perform, stemming from whatever the hell she was jailed for a few years back.
Backstage there was row with Hilton’s father, Rick, and one of “The View’s” producers. Paris herself was angry. (She must have said, “I’m angry!” Because there’s no way anybody could tell what she is feeling by just looking at her.)
Well, I’ve always been quite amused by Paris, think she’s attractive and she has made a major fortune with her many products — perfumes, lingerie, jewelry, etc. (On Piers Morgan she coyly whispered, “My parents taught me never to talk about money,” when Piers asked for figures on her wealth. But that is a thankless question. When I asked Elizabeth Taylor how much she’d paid for the fabulous Duchess of Windsor brooch back in 1986, she laughed and said, “We don’t talk money!” They never do.)
But Paris’s new show is terribly silly, and a step backward. As I’ve said before, she has peaked as a celebrity. Better to remain a behind-the-scenes entrepreneur. Talk to Kathy Ireland, Paris.
As for Miss Walters, she asked the proper questions, properly — as a good journalist should.
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CHANNEL-CLICKING, web-surfing, reading and ruminating. That’s what I’ve been doing while I heal. Along with answering the phone, talking to friends who are out and about:
Sarah Palin. In the history of the world has there been a politician who has never uttered the words. “I misspoke?” Perhaps. But ex half-term Governor Palin is the only one I can think of. What is wrong with saying, “I’m sorry. I was nervous. I made a mistake.” Nope. Our girl Sarah has to twist everything into her Politics of Victimization, and then of course, blame the media for a “gotcha question.” And then — as she has most recently — she alters American history to suit her need. The need to be correct and a victim. To Palin’s latest: Paul Revere warned the American rebels the British were coming. No bells were used. It was lanterns in the Old North Church (“one if by land two if by sea.”) Revere didn’t shout, “The British are coming,” as in legend. He road quietly, because he didn’t want to alert the British militia.
Mrs. Palin won’t accept this. And her fans have even been attempting to alter the Wikipedia entry on Paul Revere’s Ride.
To me, the best part of this was where Sarah was when she got it wrong. Sarah had just visited the Paul Revere Museum. You betcha — the media was really stretching to ask her about Paul Revere.
However, I’m late coming to remark on this. I just hope the liberal media (hello, MSNBC) is smart enough to let it drop. I’m more interested in her remark to Fox News’s Chris Wallace that she wants to “bring back Americana.” What Americana? Figurines of George and Martha Washington?
I will say Mrs. Palin looked super hot on her motorcycle. Apparently, that’s enough for some people. And to her credit, she wore a helmet, flattening her tawny mane.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mark Wahlberg, who turned 40 over the weekend. This is a man who really made something of himself, rising from a hardscrabble childhood and adolescence, and avoiding the worst temptations of young fame and fortune. He’s a big deal now — as a top-flight serious actor and producer. (I still say he was robbed of an Oscar nomination for “The Fighter.”) But I’ll always remember him as the super-attractive, sweet-faced young man still shaking off his early rapper image who behaved like a choirboy during our interview.
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LADY GAGA in Rolling Stone magazine: The pop star tells writer Brian Hiatt: “When I am not onstage, I feel dead, and when I am onstage I feel alive.” Also, in discussing the unhappy deaths of Elvis and Michael Jackson, Gaga asks the author, “I am at that level?” Hiatt says “it’s within sight” and though Gaga exclaims that it’s “terrifying” that he thinks so, she also says, “If it is my destiny to end up that way, then it shall be so.”
I don’t think that’s the greatest message for her “little monsters,” frankly.
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FINALLY — On June 13th Peggy Siegal hosts one of her illustrious New York City events: the premiere of the documentary “Page One: Inside The New York Times,” directed by Andrew Rossi. The movie chronicles the rise of the Internet as it challenges the printed page. Sounds right up my alley. I probably can’t make the “do.” So — I hope there’s a DVD floating around?