Liz Smith: Michael Buble Sings His Wedding Song Again

Michael Buble with Luisana Lopilato

And more from our Gossip Girl: “The Gray Zone” — a thriller with purpose … “Pirates” captures the world’s box office … Bette Midler’s annual picnic for New York

“I DON’T have a nanny or a housekeeper, and I only have a cleaner for one hour each week.”

That’s Victoria Beckham, soon to give birth to her fourth child with soccer’s David Beckham. Maybe Mrs. Beckham has the right idea. Housekeepers to the rich and famous are not held in high regard right this second, what with the tawdry tale of Arnold Schwarzenegger, his household “help” and what sprang up in between the dusting and ironing.

Honestly, “Rebecca’s” Mrs. Danvers is looking good compared to Mildred Baena.

And although no murders have been committed, the Schwarzenegger story is definitely going to be goosed up by our friends at “Law & Order.” (They’ll probably have a Maria Shriver-type character put a slug in her philandering hubby.) Not to mention the “ripped-from-the-headlines” scripting “L&O” will have with I.M.F managing director Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Here, it seems a real crime has allegedly taken place. (Although Arnold is certainly a real culprit!)

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MICHAEL BUBLE not only sings like the stars of the good old days (when you could understand every lyric), he marries like the stars of the good old days. Big glamour.

Buble and his gorgeous actress bride, Luisana Lopilato, were wed in her home country of Argentina a few weeks back. It was reportedly a dream affair, with Buble and Luisana absolutely besotted with one another. Then they went off to Italy to honeymoon.

This weekend the pair will marry all over again, including the vows, in Canada, where Michael was born. It’ll be an intimate “do” for 500 of their closest friends.

Lopilato is ravishing, smart and, apparently, she is what Buble needed in order to settle down. (He has sown more than his share of wild oats.)  Something’s working, because I’ve known Michael for years, ever since he sang “Happy Birthday” at my 80th birthday, and voila, he became a star. (He was already getting there, but I insist on taking credit for his success!) In any case, this charmer has never looked better. Even his voice seems richer. Love means never having to say, “I can’t hit that note tonight.”

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REVIEWS have been mixed, but Rob Marshall’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” looks to be a smash. At least overseas. By Friday, the fourth installment of Johnny Depp’s adventures as Captain Jack Sparrow had taken in a whopping $44 million in just two days. The Russians seem to be especially fond of it.

We’ll see today how “Pirates” did here in the U.S. If we’re still here that is. There are those who said the world would end on May 21, Saturday. (They jumped the gun on the Mayan calendar which gives us until Dec 21 2012.)

Oh, well, if the end came, a good deal of the world was be watching “Pirates” with their 3-D glasses on. I guess there are worse ways to go.

Anyway, if this “Pirates” does as well as expected, Johnny might have to get into that eyeliner and that scraggly wig again, a year or so from now.

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SPEAKING OF sequels, David Arquette doesn’t think there will be a “Scream 5.” The last one didn’t break any records, and although Arquette says he “has fun” making the films, he thinks the whole guy-in-the-mask-with-a-knife thing has palled.

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THE MOST feted book of the year so far has to be Daphna Edwards Ziman’s thriller about the trafficking of foster children for prostitution. It is titled “The Gray Zone.” The subject matter has long-interested Daphna, but she feels there has never been enough American exposure. So she decided to take the facts and meld them into an exciting novel.

Apparently, this worked. Next Tuesday, HBO’s former honcho Michael Fuchs puts on the dog for Ziman at his apartment in New York City. The next day, Patricia Duff celebrates “The Gray Zone” at Michael’s restaurant, the Manhattan eatery where the elite literati meet.

Then it’s on to Washington D.C. Timmy Shriver, son of Sargent and Eunice, will open his Georgetown home to Daphna on the 22nd of June. Most of the city’s movers and shakers have been invited by Kathleen Kennedy Townsend.

The author founded the Children Uniting Nations program and is the country’s central activist protecting America’s most at-risk children.

Asked why she chose to write a novel rather than a more scholarly, strictly factual work, said, “I’ve read several of those, and good as they were, they received very little notice; no traction on the subject. I figured I’d go for broke with a fictional take. If it does well, I’ll have plenty of opportunity to talk seriously about this issue — the criminality and exploitation of children, children turned into slaves by the very system supposedly founded for their protection. If I had to dress it up a bit to make it more palatable, that’s fine.

“It’s imperative that people know and care and act on their knowledge.”

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ON WEDNESDAY Bette Midler’s New York Restoration Project celebrates their 10th annual Spring Picnic at Gracie Mansion. Among the throng who want to help Bette beautify NYC will be Jann WennerMica ErtegunEnid NemyMario BuattaMargo and Jimmy NederlanderJudy Gold and but of course Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. Since 2007, Bloomberg and Bette’s MilliontreesNYC project have planted close to 470,000 new greeneries in and around Manhattan.

12 Responses so far.

  1. avatar Baby Snooks says:

    It’s interesting that no one is really paying much attention to the real scandal which is Dominique Strauss-Kahn whose wife shocked everyone long ago with her public acknowledgment of the infidelities and her belief that infidelity is somehow an ultimate compliment to the wife to whom the husband always returns. Unless l he doesn’t return I suppose. 

    Not sure how she will respond to the matter of sexually assaulting hotel maids but I’m sure it will be equally as shocking.  As I noted in the previous column about the Schwarzeneggers the Strauss-Kahns are not a boring couple. They’ve shocked even the French which is not easy to do.

    As for the comment by Victoria Beckham, well, she seems to be on the ball to begin with. As for those who have the household staffs, I suspect the sales of “nanny cams” have suddenly increased. Not to see if the nanny is mistreating the children. To see if the husband is down the hall with the nanny instead of downstaris in the kitchen like he said. 

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Baby…Well, he won’t be returning this time!  Prison awaits “The Great Seducer.”

      Actually, a great deal of attention is being paid to the Strauss-Kahn scandal.  It’s more than than a mere “scandal.”  It’s rape.   The wife will say it’s a political set-up, as many of the French have already claimed.   But I don’t see him getting out this.  I do anticipate he’ll attempt to somehow flee the country. 

      • avatar Paul Smith says:

        Why not ? Where is the evidence, besides media manipulation? Tawana Brawleys are born in Senegal as well.

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        This is one of those situations where it’s going to be “he said, she said” since there wre no actual witnesses. He’s a very powerful politician. Married to a very wealthy woman. Both still held in high esteem in social and political circles in France. Despite her having shocked everyone with her “observations” about marraige and fidelity and such things years ago.  Only some of which apparently were included in the New York Times story which is what I meant about no one really focusing on the real scandal. The real scandal is not his “indiscretion” with a hotel maid. It’s her “observations” on such things.  The French are libertine about such things. Just not that libertine. I used the word “indiscretion” because that is probably a word you will hear at some point. From her. From his attorneys, well, I fully expect what you will hear is that he was set-up and easily so since he often engaged in these “indiscretions” which Americans of course cannot understand. But, of course, his wife does. At which point no doubt she will take the stand.  And probably convince the jury that he’s not the type to have to sexually assault anyone., Women just throw themselves at him. As she did once. As I said, this is not a boring couple.  So it will not be a boring trial. 

        If it gets to trial.  I suspect it won’t.  Strings will be pulled. They are probably already being pulled. The French were not amused to begin with over the Roman Polanski mess. And still aren’t actually.  I suspect because this is a “he said, she said” situation it has become a “diplomatic matter” as well as a “political matter” and part of that is the rumored suspicion by some that possibly he was set-up because the EU will now lose their control of the IMF.

        Or they may release him since he has put up $6 million. Not realizing that she put it up and it is nothing to her. And they will return to Paris. Promising to return for the trial. And instead shoot the bird at the Obama Administration when it complains that they promised to return. Along with most of France. Going after Roman Polanski was not really the thing to do. The Obama Administration of course will file for extradition. Which will be tossed in a waste basket. France does not ordinarily allow extradition for such matters. Particularly when it’s a “he said, she said” matter.  And this is a “he said, she said” matter. 

        • avatar Richard Bassett says:

          God these men (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dominique Strauss-Kahn) are in their early to mid 60’s with the embarrassment of acting like a 19 year old, sexually. Haven’t they had enough? At least Tiger Woods is 35 and Jesse James (Sandra Bullock’s) is 40. A semi- appropriate age. Sheen is pushing it at 44 and Hugh Hefner (he lives on round the clock Viagra)

          • avatar D C says:

            Hmmm a Viagra IV.  Wonder what the IV Pole looks like.  (I’ll go stand in the corner now)

          • avatar Baby Snooks says:

            Welcome to the wonderful world of Viagra. Although something tells me Dominique Strauss-Kahn doesn’t need Viagra. He seems to be too, um, spontaneous shall we say?

          • avatar Richard Bassett says:

            There are ED pills for THAT too, Cialis (extended release). Take one pill a day, like a vitamin…and you are ready  “whenever, throughout the day. Sounds more like Hefner’s drug. It doesn’t come without side effects…headache and a lowering of blood pressure. To these guy’s in their 60’s/70’s, it’s not exactly a good thing to play around with.

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        Having been around as I have I do have to wonder if he was indeed set-up but then must note that if he wasn’t a notorious sleazeball it wouldn’t have been so easy to set him up, now would it?

  2. avatar Richard Bassett says:

    Putting adulterers and their house cleaners aside for a bit, I wonder if “Martha Stewart” is going to read “The Gray Zone” as some cozy summer reading! I do not think that Ziman’s comment that she will take the subject more seriously, based on non-fiction, in the future (since she is the founder of the ‘Children’s United Nations program’), I think she just chose the wrong sense of words, But, on social media…child slave workers in the military, manufacturing and the sexual professions have given way to a host of new non-profits and charities. It certainly is a global subject. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore lead the pack with their “D & A Foundation” focusing on child sexual exploitation throughout the world. Not only do they have an organization, of sorts, they produce video projects dedicated to the topic. Most of it is heartbreaking…but awareness is necessary. We may not see it in the white upper middle class, but child slave workers are utilized worldwide. Some only 7 years old. I agree that a fictional movie will provide intensity rather than the usual drawn-out documentaries; Ziman’s heart is going in the right direction.
    More “Scream” movies, as well as, “Pirates”, I wish I was of an age to appreciate the excitement that these films elicit, but they just pass me by. Enough already. Even David Arquette is tiring of them, I guess rehab has taught him to set the bar higher and I would LOVE to see him do something relevant and dramatic. I’ve seen these qualities in his personal life, so hopefully he can transfer those skills onto the screen. I love hearing that Bette Midler is still planting trees. She is passionate and causing a lot of attention. Another heartfelt cause. Though I do not know this for sure, I hope other major cities will lead by her example. She has put her entire self into this project and I hope that she is seeing the fruits (literally) of her labor. Now, as for house cleaning: We had a lady come in for an hour once a week and nothing drastic ever happened. Where did we go wrong?



  3. avatar Laura Ward says:

    Gosh, I didn’t know I was rich. I have two maids for 3 hours a week…just kidding. That’s only $75 a week. How can they clean in 1 hour a week? My hi-rise apartment is only 2,000 sq. ft. Mmm….

    • avatar Richard Bassett says:

      In my case, she was cleaning what was already clean to begin with, with a few additional touches here and there in a kitchen, bathroom and livingroom. Since I have no decoration skills ( unheard of for a gay man), she stayed on top of that…as well.