I am trapped by illness, mine or someone I love’s illness. My creative mind shuts down, my emotions simplify and drown me and I have to fight them as well as do what it takes to deal with the illness. I would be the world’s worst professional nurse, but when my husband was ill for a very long period, I was a good administrative nurse without thinking. There was no choice. His illness was life. Later it was a difficult adjustment to become me, Mary, again.