Nothing like being a man and having a hit TV series and the pull of a network behind you.
Oh, I sure do mean Charlie Sheen. The dissolute star of “Two and a Half Men” had some sort of a meltdown at NYC’s Plaza Hotel. It involved broken furniture, a distressed young woman and a disoriented Mr. Sheen. (He was in town with his ex-wife Denise Richards and their two children. Denise, in fact, had met the distressed young woman in question – a porn actress. Cozy. Modern. Nice for the kids.)
Mr. Sheen is still on probation from a domestic incident involving his estranged wife, Brooke Mueller, last Christmas in Aspen. But not to worry. The DA in Colorado handling the Aspen incident considers it “petty” and doesn’t want to waste taxpayer money on a guy from Hollywood who made a ruckus in Manhattan. (Miss Mueller didn’t consider it so “petty” initially. At all. But then she changed her mind.)
Mr. Sheen’s press rep insists the actor had an “allergic” reaction to medication. Police say there were no drugs found in Mr. Sheen’s room. (Where could they have gone, one wonders? Well, the digestive system is a miraculous thing.) Mr. Sheen is insisting reports of the lurid Plaza romp have been “overblown” and he will keep details “under wraps.”
This is but the latest in a long series of “allergic reactions” in Mr. Sheen’s life, many of them in recent years. But he somehow maintains his job without the slightest slap on the wrist from his bosses. In fact, they throw more money at him. And his reputation never suffers because nobody expects anything better from him. “Oh, it’s Charlie, acting up again! I heard the girl in his room was naked, screaming and had locked herself in the closet.” (Wink, nudge.) “What a wild and crazy guy!”
Okay. Let’s see what would have happened if this were Lindsay Lohan – no matter where she was “acting up.” The call to jail and punish her would be shattering. There would be no shrugging, nudging or winking. She’d be condemned as a hopeless, worthless case. (Not that she hasn’t already been.) If she had had an “allergic reaction” with seven days left on any probation, she’d be toast.
Double standard! Double standard! Double standard! Miss Lohan is a woman. Miss Lohan is a woman without power, and no power behind her. (Her career has collapsed, and as she herself noted, her clothing line is suffering because of her stint in rehab – she can’t get out to promote it. I am sorry about that, but Lindsay needs her rehab. The leggings can wait.)
It’s not even that I want Sheen jailed. He is really pathetic. Like Mr. Mel Gibson, one need only look at Charlie’s once-handsome face to see what abuse has done. I am just tired of his behavior relegated to “antics.” CBS needs to insist he clean up his act or else. And if Charlie doesn’t care for himself, he might think about his co-stars and crew, all of whom would be out of work if he dies, or if the network decided enough was enough and pulled the plug on the sitcom. (Since it is still a ratings-grabber, that’s just a fantasy, I know.)
Mr. Sheen is expected back at work next week, greeted with affection by his castmates. They all say – and I think they mean it – that he is a “really nice guy.” (This despite the fact that none of them get the respect Charlie does. No matter how integral they are to the show.) And he will receive figurative bouquets from his bosses. Nobody wants to kill the golden goose. No matter if these days he’s more Grey Goose.