Mr. wOw’s Post Super Bowl Ramblings

Our inimitable columnist sounds off on the important issues of the week

Mr. wOw, first off, must apologize for being away for so long. I have been feeling poorly, and even went for chest x-rays. I am certain I’m fine — especially as my doctor’s note said “Priority: Normal.” This, after I’d convinced myself I was dying — thank you the Internet! And as I haven’t heard back since I spent hours waiting to be x-rayed last week, I assume all is well. (I still have a throat exam but I am putting that off until I know for certain my chest is clear.)

But — having more or less assured myself I was not about to expire — I waited for Madonna to appear last Sunday. So much went through my head. Serious stuff. Kinda. Oh, see, you thought I was going to babble about Madonna, right? Sillies. I love Madonna. I admired the spectacle of her show. She will never sing “Aida.” We can move on.

Paula Deen was much on my mind. I’ve never much cared for her, and rarely sat through one of her episodes on The Food Network — is it possible that anybody really says “y’all” every six seconds? But I had no real gripe. Then she became a figure of controversy when she revealed that she had Type 2 diabetes. But she revealed this only when she’d made a deal to promote a new diabetes medication, for a pretty penny. The haters came down on her. Hell, her own sons were distressed (though the boys, who have jobs thanks to her, were probably thinking as much about their own hides as dear Paula’s.) Everybody got on board, criticizing her for deception, greed and terrible cooking habits — butter, butter, butter.

I understood every negative comment, but somehow couldn’t feel it to join in. Her health is her own business, how she makes money is her own business, and as much as I ever watched Ms. Dean, I don’t ever recall her saying, “Eat like this everyday!” She never said her cooking was healthy, only that is was tasty. Please — have you ever seen “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” with Guy Fieri? He is physically repulsive, overweight and eats like a farm animal. He pushes every unhealthy morsel down his throat. At least Paula doesn’t wander into restaurant kitchens wearing flip-flops. If she’s cynical and a bit duplicitous — she’s in show biz. Let’s not gasp in too surprised a manner.

I also thought about Mitt Romney. Which takes some doing, given the emptiness of the man. But I was actually feeling sorry for him. He’d just uttered his now infamous “I don’t care about the very poor” remark and was being slammed. I have to defend Mitt on this one. His entire remark was that he didn’t care about the very poor because they had safety nets, and if those were not enough, they’d be corrected. And he wasn’t concerned about the very rich because “they are doing just fine.” He was attempting to grab middle-class interest. Aside from the fact that he is Mitt Romney and has no idea about anything, what exactly was wrong with what he said? Maybe it could have been phrased more artfully, but, again — it’s the Mitt Romney, stupid. I don’t hear many (any?) other politicians, including Barack Obama, refer to the plight of the very poor in this country. The very poor tend not to vote. The middle-class does. Get it?

Mr. Romney is not heartless. He is clueless. An empty, expensive suit. I don’t know why he wants to be president, but on the “very poor” debacle, he got more negativity than he deserved.

I also mulled on Callista Gingrich. No, no — not the formidable blonde helmet. That would require an entire column.

I thought on this. Let’s say Newt Gingrich becomes president of the United States. Callista will be our First Lady. Think about it. The first First Lady (of modern times, anyway — American history buffs will correct me) who is an open adulteress. She dallied with Newt knowing full well he was a married man. Let me be clear. I have nothing against adulteresses. My goodness, Miss Elizabeth Taylor should be next to the dictionary definition. And you all know I love Miz Liz! But it does make for fascinating ruminations. Newt has said he has changed, and he has repented. But what about Callista? What would her role be as First Lady and how would she accomplish it? Would she take on the challenge of teen pregnancy? Or celibacy until marriage? Or how about how holy heterosexual marriage is? Or would she simply see to it that all American highways have pretty flowers on the side, or worry herself ragged over our unhealthy eating habits? What would be, what is, her moral compass? I don’t want to see Mr. Gingrich as president, but the idea of Callista as First Lady is oddly, crazily, alluring.

P.S. to all matters Gingrich. The only sensible person I have heard on the subject of Newt is MSNBC’s Jonathan Alter. He alone has said, “Stop saying things are ‘impossible’ and ‘unbelievable’” concerning the possibility of Newt becoming the Republican candidate. (Or even president.) It is possible. It is believable. This is life and politics. Anything can happen. Grow up, and brace yourselves.

Of course, all this brings us to Richard Santorum and his horrifying world full of barefoot and eternally pregnant women. No contraception! I am always reminded of Florynce Kennedy’s famous remark that if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

Prior to Super Bowl Sunday, Mr. Santorum’s mania for the endless fecundity of powerless women was sort of a joke. Now that he has had a stunning triple-win — Missouri, Minnesota, Colorado — it is less amusing. What world does he imagine in one already so over-populated? Hmmmm … a world of white people? Too bad, Rick, it will be a café au lait planet in a generation or two, and neither you nor the reality TV creatures the Duggars can change that. (Oh, and by the way: some of those white babies will be born gay.)

Finally, I want to recommend a book to anybody who is totally to the Far Right. It is titled Flashback written by Dan Simmons. It’s a sci-fi thriller thingy, set about 25 years in the future. The future is bleak and destroyed. Why? Liberals and Barack Obama, Mexicans and the global warming myth, the Japanese and African Americans. It. Is. Staggering. The basic plot, which concerns a drug that lulls helpless Americans back to their happiest times, is rather intriguing. But the ideology is relentless. I wanted to put the book down at least three times, the polemic was so overwhelming. Still, I stuck to the end, because that’s how I am. I don’t walk out of movies or plays or not finish books. I see my commitment to the last. And kvell or cry after.

So, if you hate Mr. Obama, Flashback is your kind of novel.

Dear readers, I’m off now to call my doc and find out for sure that I am healthy and must stay connected to this old world. Honestly, I have to stay connected. There’s always the possibility of Callista the First Lady. You think I’d leave with that on my plate?!

I’d come back from the grave.

93 Responses so far.

  1. avatar SMALL TOWN GIRL says:

    Glad to see your back, sorry your not feeling well though, I don’t follow the politics it gives me a headache ..ugh
    my husband always knows everything thats going on atleast one of us does.   Does B.?

    Off of your topic though, have you ever been burgalarized?
    Someone broke into my house last month while I was at work, I have been so pissed ever
    since. I know logicaly to let it go but emotionally I can’t.
    You know  you’ll never see your belongings again and you just get depressed and pissed all over again.

    I’ve been in a bad mood for a month.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Small Town Goil….

      B. knows everything.  It is both comforting and challenging to live with a genius.  Mostly, I pretend he’s Arthur Miller and I’m MM, and go around gobsmacked by all he knows.  And I wear a lot of tight, sequinned ,halter-neck gowns, so he can be embarassed when we meet All The Right People. 

      I have been burglarized.  And by a “friend” too.   I was in a bad mood for a month.  But then I realized my “friend” was so desperate he might have killed me had I been present.  (This was eons before B.)   So, I got over it. 

      I am sorry about your belongings.  I know it’s tough to lose precious things.

  2. avatar J G says:

    Dear Mr. Wow,

    I am feeling worried for you. I know that is not your intent, but I am. This post is not your normal rant, fraught with humor and self deprecation.

    Well, it is funny, the Callista thing and all.

    Please keep us posted and let us know that you are safe and sound. Ok, safe will do. (JK)

    And to Smalltowngirl, I am so sorry that you were vandalized. I think that you must feel personally violated and that might take time to overcome. ((HUGS))

    Be well, Mr. Wow.

    XO

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear JG…

      Really?  I thought this post was pretty fraught and ranting!

      Anyway, thank you, but I am okay.  Look, all it takes is a few hours waiting in a hospital to assure you–A. You are dying.  B. You are just fine, why are you here?      I am going with the latter.

      I really don’t have reason to suspect that I am anything more than “delicate.”  Like Garbo in “Camille.”   Uh…right, not a good example. She ended up dead.  In Robert Taylor’s arms.  Well, you have to look on the bright side of everything.

  3. avatar LandofLove says:

    Hello there, Mr. wOw. I was glad to see a new column from you as I always enjoy your comments.

    Re Paula Deen: I’m not a fan of her gooey Southern ways, but I suspect that people were angry and felt betrayed that their good ol’ gal said nothing about her health issues until now, when she could shill for Big Pharm. If she had disclosed her diabetes when she first found out about it, she might have created a lucrative niche for herself on how to cook and eat Southern without killing yourself in the process. (I believe that her sons now have a TV show on this topic—interesting timing!) 

    Re Callista: The spin doctors would have to work overtime, but I’m sure they could come up with an explanation that would satisfy the followers of Mr. and Mrs. Gingrich. (“The devil was in Callista, but now she’s been saved!”)

    I do believe that there’s nothing that can’t be explained away any more. It’s all in how they spin it.   

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Land of Love…

      I think the devil is still in Callista.  Or maybe not? Perhaps that explains Newt’s perpetual pouty rage?  Overcompensating right to the White House.

      Yes, one of Paula’s boys has a show titled “Not My Mama’s Cooking.”   Sometimes when I see one or the other son with her on TV, I have a feeling they want to launch a show titled  “She’s Not My Mama!”   But, she went through a lot to make her fame and fortune, and one assumes so did her boys. 

  4. avatar Rho says:

    Take care of yourself Mr. Wow.  I miss you when you’re not here.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Rho…

      Oh, I read that too fast.  At first it looked like “I’ll miss you when you’re not .”   I thought–Does Rho know something I don’t?!

      I’m fine.  Just over-sharing as is the wont of the anonymous blogger.

      thank you!

  5. avatar D C says:

    Mr. WOW… please take your Robitussin.  Dr. Mom has spoken.

    Paula Deen:  I’m from Texas and I know for a fact that nobody says y’all that often unless they are in a “yankee” locale (specifically, NYC) and find themselves perpetuating the stereotype.  I saw it happen among many of my friends when we were wandering the streets after rehearsal was over for the day in preparation for a bowl game many years ago.  And you are SO right… she NEVER said it was healthy, only that it was gooooood.  And it IS good — that’s why it’s called comfort food.  Unfortunately the name should be “comfort for now, but you won’t be comfortable when your pants don’t fit anymore food”

    All Things Gringrich:  No, that is not a cat hacking up a hair ball, that’s me when I think about all things Gingrich. 

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear DC…

      I’m here with a margarita and a Robitussin.  (kidding!—I’m actually quite wary of mixing drugs and drink and such.)

      Well, I think Paula is Southern-born but that constant loop of  “y’all” drives me crazy!

  6. avatar Lila says:

    Good to see you, Mr. Wow, though I am sorry to read that you aren’t feeling 100%. And I don’t blame you for getting the chest exam – many years ago, a co-worker had a persistent pain in his upper chest that he described as “going all the way through.” He finally saw a doctor, who found that he was getting over a case of pneumonia. Years later, another co-worker was complaining of the same kind of pain; we convinced him to see a doctor immediately, and it turned out he had a collapsed lung! Ouch. But both are still kicking, as far as I know. May you have many more years of “being delicate.”

    I think your take on all of today’s topics is spot-on and very pragmatic. Yes, Santorum is scary. So is Gingrich. And I find the prospect of a First Lady Callista to be… well, more revolting than you do. But I guess that ties into my utter contempt for women who use sex to get ahead (I find it to be lazy, crass, and where adultery or breaking up long-term relationships is involved – immoral). Callista is reportedly quite bright and talented in many fields; yet how did she arrive at her present position…? By knowingly carrying on a six-year, adulterous affair. Wow, so admirable.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Lila…

      Odds are that Callista won’t be resting her helmet at the White House next year, but like I said—let’s just prepare, a little. 

      I don’t think my lungs have collapsed.  My ass is another story.

      • avatar Anais P says:

        “Helmet” — exactly. Whenever I see Callista’s hair, I am reminded of that line from “Steel Magnolias.” Did you realize if Newt is elected POTUS, Callista would also be the first childless First Lady, at least in recent times? That would be an interesting difference. She is quite a musician, BTW; perhaps encouraging the arts would be her pet project. Get well soon, Mr. Wow!

  7. avatar Daniel Sugar says:

    Get well!

    Soon! (Or Sooner!)

    (That’s an order!)

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Dr. Sugar…

      And aside from the coughing, ah keep havin’ these obscene babblin’ episodes.  Aunt Vi is beside herself. 

      Despite being locked up in a mental ward, I am robust to the point of plumpness.  Tho as soon as they send for my Paris dresses, I’ll look much slimmer.

  8. avatar Andy C says:

    Mr. Wow ~ I too am worried.  I detect a real note of sadness and depression in your post, though, as said, it was, as usual, funny……..I do hope everything is fine.  I’m willing myself to health and so should you…please keep us posted. 

    I do apologize, I know like Madonna and I don’t have anything against her (except maybe that godawful movie she made with her, then, husband), but her half-time show was terrible.  She’s in great shape, but maybe she should leave it at that.  At one point she had trouble getting back up and the whole thing was, well, odd.

    Once again I’m horrified by the choices we have.  I believe in voting, I believe we can make a difference, but how with what we’re offered.  Surely, somewhere, somehow there are people in our great country that are, well, MORE than what we’re being offered.

    Adultery in the White House?  Surely you jest………..when hasn’t there been adultery in the White House.  So now it’s the women who are getting there share instead of just the men.  The whole thing is a mess, just a mess…………no role models for our young.

    Again, hopefully you’re back to your chipper self.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Andy…

      Honest, I thought I was as snarky and off-the-top of my head (and off with his/her head) as ever.   But I appreciate all the concern. 

      You don’t have apologize re Madonna.   I am quite realistic!  But can’t help being a fan.  However, even the world’s greatest dancer might have been challenged by high heels and that soaring stage. 

      I’m more chipper with each passing day.

  9. avatar rick gould says:

    Well, Mr. Wow– (say that like Gilda Radner’s Baba Wawa if you wanna smile ; )

    I’m sorry to hear about your ongoing health woes. I went through that last spring out here in Portland. It’s unsettling, I think, to be ill after 50 and not bounce back the way we did when we were youngsters! The best thing is persistence and to be as positive as possible. It also helps a lot to have someone who cares about you in your corner ; )

    As far as the batch of public figures you commented on, the only one I care about is our eternal star, Elizabeth Taylor. She bounced back more times than thought possible, better than ever… there’s a role model for you!

    Take care, Mr. W!

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Rick…

      You hit it—unsettling. I keep forgetting I’ll be 60 next January.  Things just don’t work/react/spring back as they once did.    And, being prone to depression and anxiety, I become…depressed and anxious when my body hits me upside the head and says–“You’re not 28, honey!”

      I hate it  when my body is such a bitch. 

      Ah, Miss Taylor–the one and only.  The greatest. Memories and movies are a wonderful thing.  She still seems so alive to me.

      • avatar Rho says:

        Dear Mr. Wow, I’d never think that.

        BTW, I am trying to reply to your post to me, but it’s not working.
         

      • avatar rick gould says:

        Mr. W–
        I have been physically healthy this winter (knock wood) but am currently working on the old noggin. My big dilemma has always been am I depressed or just anxious…or both?!
        I get to thinking why did I sell everything I own to move to Portland…to go to grad school…in my 50s…footing the bill myself with my retirement nest egg…to graduate in what kind of job market… lets just say anxiety reaches avalanche proportions!
        I’ve got a sizable bag of tricks for coping mechanisms, but I’ve been working on dealing with these in a more proactive way with luckily, a great therapist. I’ve done this before but realize now that it’s an ongoing thing that needs to dealt with.
        So, hang in there with your mind/body dilemmas! Diligence may be the best defense.
        RG

        • avatar Mr. Wow says:

          Dear Rick…

          I used to be anxious.  Then I got depressed.  Now I am a big mess.

          My therapists were always happy when I got to the point of crying over some harrowing childhood event.  “A breakthrough!  What did that mean?”

          “It meant it was a sad story that I would have cried about if you told it to me.”

          Now I am therapy free but I see its benefits for others.  I am hanging in, kid.  Please–you do too.  Dilgence!

  10. avatar Daniel Sugar says:

    “Turn that over-light off! Turn that off! I won’t be looked at in this merciless glare!”

  11. avatar Jon T says:

    First, I’m always happy to see an e-mail alert that there’s a new Mr. Wow column being posted. 🙂 Hope the next column telling us you’re on the mend will be following soon.

    On the Paula Deen front, I know she’s a fan of butter and lots of it. But is butter alone really the gateway food to diabetes? I was under the impression that excessive sugar was more of a factor. I’m saying this not being familiar with her recipes, so maybe there’s more to her than buttery goodness. Either way, it doesn’t sound like she’s ever claimed her cooking was healthy, just a tasty indulgence. I can’t find fault with enjoying an occasional bout of decadence.

  12. avatar mary burdt says:

    Speaking about Callista—every time i see her on TV I have the urge to take my fingers and mess up her hair a little. That helmet is sooo unattractive. You would think someone, anyone, would fluff it up a bit. Thank goodness Newt will never sleep at the White House.

    Now, on to important things. You must take better care of yourself. B can’t do it all. Take a deep breath and live each day, one moment at a time and you will be fine. I miss your spunky, outrageous self.
    Mary

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Mary…

      Thank you, but you know B. just came in and said, after reading your response “I think people are really worried!  This is as ‘spunky’ a post as you ever run.  I mean, Callista the adulteress?”

      I’m going to have to go back and see how mean I’ve been in the past.

      I’m fine, Mary.  But now I feel bad that I’ve worried you all, y’all.  

      No one can ‘fluff up’ Callista’s hair.  Like the roaches and Cher, it will survive the apocalypse. 

      B. has made his infamous chili and is calling me to scald my innards.  

      • avatar LandofLove says:

        No one can ‘fluff up’ Callista’s hair. Like the roaches and Cher, it will survive the apocalypse.

        Hee hee! That statement alone proves that you’ve still got your spunk, Mr. wOw!  

        • avatar Mr. Wow says:

          Dear Land…

          And I will need all my spunk today, as the Republicans hold forth at  CPAC.  Especially, now, in the wake of Obama’s clumsy handling of the contraception issue, which he is amending as we speak.   Oy.

  13. avatar Deirdre Cerasa says:

    Mr WoW!
    So sorry you are still feeling a bit poorly! Our Moms would say it is because we have had a relatively mild winter here in the Northeast and it hasn’t been cold enough or snowy enough to kill the germs. Hope you next missive brings us news that you are feeling much better.
    I love Madonna! There I said it and I am not taking it back. I don’t get the endless need to criticize her. I have watched Jennifer Lopez (10 years younger), Beyonce (20 years younger) and Rihanna(30? years younger) stumble and fall while performing, and have a hard time getting up! Let’s see some of snide critics do what she does (fat chance)!
    If Gingrich or Santorum were ever to be elected, I would seriously have to consider leaving for foreign shores for the duration of the term. Fell nearly the same about Mitt but I live in Massachusetts and we did sort of survive him.
    Regarding Paula; anyone who thinks it is okay to eat the food and many other food network chefs do on a daily basis is nuts! Paula’s certainly has a public relations problem right now. The chips and butter and sugar will fall where they may! I have always laughed at the television chefs who are reed thin; we all know they don’t eat more than one bite of whatever they are making.
    Deirdre
    P.S. In case I didn’t say strongly enough, be well! xoxo

    • avatar Deirdre Cerasa says:

      should be “feel” about Mitt. darn!

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Deirdre…
       
      Thanks for the good wishes.
       
      As to Madonna—I object most to the elements of ageism.  She is 53–a young woman, to my point of view.  She is supposed to retire and hang it up? I don’t think so.   She will have her stately chanteuse period–but not for a while.

      Santorum will be Mitt’s veep choice.  I shudder.  Let’s all get pregnant all the time.  Oh, wait–only women can get pregnant.  Which means–men, get the hell out of it. 

  14. avatar Vintagemom says:

    So glad you’re back Mr. Wow!  I check to see if you have a new column every morning.  I hope all reports are good and that you’re back to feeling great soon.

  15. avatar wlaccma says:

    Everyone I talk to about being broken into says it is terrible and takes a while to get over. However, I am at the stage in my life where I want to get rid of everything. Why did I buy all of this stuff when I traveled the world. How to clear out the house. I am thinking of merging my two houses into one and I am sick thinking about what to do with all of this “stuff.” It is only “stuff” so pick up your insurance check and take a trip. Do NOT buy anything while you travel.

    • avatar SMALL TOWN GIRL says:

      Don’t have two houses , don’t have too much stuff but what I don’t have anymore was precious to me. and insurance gives you 1/5th of what its worth monetarily and zero
      meaningfuly. 

  16. avatar wlaccma says:

    I am furious over the Catholic church kerfuffle over birth control. Almost all Catholics use it and should in my lowly opinion. A church run by MEN should not tell people how many kids to have. They did NOT SAY you had to use birth control or get it from your insurance company. They just said it had to be offered to employees. Take it or leave it. Why did Obama back down today. Stupid.

    • avatar Mahulda Fite says:

      You apparently do not understand what this is about. “They just said it had to be offered to employees”–No, they said the instituitions offering health insurance must provide and pay for it. If you want men to “stay out of women’s ‘choices'” then why do you want the government telling insurance companies and those companies that provide health insurance coverage to their employees what kind of insurance they HAVE to provide.

      The government has no business deciding anyone’s health care choices let alone insisting that birth control be provided by those employers who are generous enough to offer health insurance in the first place.  The Catholic Church isn’t stopping women from using birth control, they just don’t want to forced to pay for something they are morally opposed to. 

      • avatar Lila says:

        The govt was never deciding anyone’s actual choices, only insisting that a choice be offered. Just because insurance covers birth control, does not mean you have to go get it. At any rate, the policy has been amended:

        “Religious organizations will not have to provide contraceptive coverage or refer their employees to organizations that provide contraception. Religious organizations will not be required to subsidize the cost of contraception. Contraception coverage will be offered to women by their employers’ insurance companies directly, with no role for religious employers who oppose contraception. Insurance companies will be required to provide contraception coverage to these women free of charge.”

        Thus, the insurance companies will have to suck up the cost of contraception themselves. It is actually to their benefit cost-wise, as birth control pills are one of the cheapest prescriptions in terms of real cost to the provider, plus they SAVE a lot of money in preventing the need for spending on other, more expensive, health services.

        • avatar Mahulda Fite says:

          “Insurance companies will have to suck up the costs”–when is it acceptable for the federal government to be in the business of mandating what a private company should provide its customers–free of charge.  All women have “access” to birth control–no one should be forced to pay for it.

          • avatar Lila says:

            Then no one should be paying for men’s Viagra either. But insurance paid for that well before paying for women’s birth control, despite the fact that Viagra is a mere lifestyle drug, has cardiovascular safety issues, and costs much more than BCPs. But men see ED as a medical problem worthy of treatment at little to no cost, while many of them DON’T see pregnancy prevention as a women’s health issue at all. Never mind gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, Rh incompatibility, high blood pressure, hemorrhage, infection, depletion of nutrients, blah blah blah. You’re built to have babies and it’s God’s will, so it’s not OUR problem. Oh, and – whatever life you had planned for yourself, just set that aside and take care of those babies like a good little Mommy, OK? If you’re married, your hubby will take good care of you, and if you’re not – well, you were a bad, bad girl and now you will just have to deal with it. Puh-leeze. In any society where women are supposed to have equal rights, reproductive health has to be a priority.

            BCPs have clear health benefits for women. Other than being able to decide when to have a child, or how many children to have (if any at all), the fact remains that pregnancy is risky business, in fact it is more risky and damaging to the mother’s health than any form of birth control other than abstinence.

            Yet roughly half of all American women under 35 have trouble paying for BCPs. And they shouldn’t, because that prescription costs only about $3 per month to produce. But then throw in the doctor’s exam charge and the cost markup on the prescription. If we could just walk into a store and pay $3 or $5 a month for it over the counter, I might agree with you, but that’s just not possible and there is too much of an economic burden on women who don’t want to be eternally pregnant.

            Some other woman-related things that the government is requiring no-cost coverage for: mammograms, cervical cancer screening, and osteoporosis screening over 65. But hey, don’t let the government force big businesses to do the right thing. Maybe they should be completely unregulated, and go back to providing Viagra for men to have sex, and nothing for women to have any control over their own destinies.

          • avatar Mahulda Fite says:

            Again, “forced” is the operable word here.  Insurance companies were not forced to pay for Viagara–they offered the coverage and companies can pick up the bill if they want to offer it as part of the insurance package to their employees.  The government should not and really has no legal authority to force companies to pay for free of charge their goods or services.

          • avatar Mahulda Fite says:

            I think most women know how NOT to get pregnant. Birth control is not a “health” issue–it is a preventative measure that would not be required if women took responsibility for themselves.

          • avatar Sadie BB says:

            Manhulda – birth control is an important part of women ‘taking responsibility for themselves’. And yes the government does have the legal authority to enforce laws passed for the benefit of the majority of its citizens – 51% of whom are female!
            I’m pretty sure that giving birth is a health issue since most women go to a hospital to do it. Once upon a time 1/3 of women died of childbirth or it’s complications – it’s the price nature imposed for those big- brained human babies. I know of 3 women who had serious health issues after giving birth. I’m sure everybody knows of a few.
            Are babies supposed to be some kind of punishment for being a ‘hussy’? Because it seems like that’s what you’re advocating.

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        Well I am morally opposed to the Catholic Church but I’m not demanding they be cut off from my tax dollars for their “charitable work” which most of the religious organizations in this country have no problem taking  which suddenly is a little hypocritical given they are now  screaming about separation of church and state. If they feel that way, well, stop taking federal tax dollars for “charitable work” which almost always invariably involves a little “proselytizing” on the part of the “Christian” charities. Sorry, but it isn’t Jesus paying the rent or the light bill or keeping food on the table. It’s contributions,. And my tax dollars. 

        The founding fathers of course weren’t perfect. As evidenced by the First Amendment. They really blew it.  But of course there were probably some fundamentalists among them and they wanted to be “politically correct” so they treaded softly with regard to religion. When they shouldn’t have. They should have, as some of them did with the Treaty of Tripoli, stated very clearly that this was not a nation founded as a Christian nation nor a nation whose laws reflected Judeo-Christian values. None of which, quite honestly, seem to be applied in our society at this point.  We don’t really seem to have any religious values at work.

  17. avatar Sadie BB says:

    Dear Mr Wow – in all fairness Callista wasn’t the married one in the affair. You know, the one who made the VOWS.

    And I,for one, am waiting for the day when Newtie has his first major health scare only to watch as Callista prances out the door on the arm of some age-inappropriate man-candy while sniveling that the pressures of serving her country make it impossible for her to continue in the marriage.

    Karma’s a b*tch, huh!

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Sadie…

      You are corect.  She was an unmarried adulteress.  If we are going  get Biblical about it.

      By the way I have no moral standards here.  I’m just fascinated at how they’ll spin it, if Newt becomes the candidate. 

  18. avatar crystalclear says:

    After watching Madonna perform I was embarrasssed for her.   She slipped three times in her “heels” and her dancing was bad.   Before the performance in an interview  I also noticed her plastic surgery is bad.   On the right side of her face she had visible “lumps.”     I actually felt sorry for her.    She isn’t 25 years old anymore and no matter how hard she tries she is incapable of recapturing those years.  

    Sad.  Sorry if I have offended Madonna fans!   She needs to hang it up and present herself on a more mature level if she is to be taken seriously again as an entertainer.    And, please, no more dance routines.   It’s over, Madonna!   Time to do a duet with Tony Bennett!

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Crystal…

      Well, I wouldn’t want to even try to dance in high heels on a twenty foot platform at the Super Bowl.

      But that’s just me. 

      I look forward to the Tony Bennett duet–really, I do.

  19. avatar crystalclear says:

    I love your sense of humor, really I do.   LOL!   Why Madonna placed herself in a situation like that is a mystery.   I would not have done that at that age.   However, she has her own ambitions.

    Glad you are back and on the mend.   You are an interesting man, IMO.   Huge heart….like me in a way….a realist to a fault.   Enjoy your threads.    Stay with us.   When you engage you light up a room.

  20. avatar crystalclear says:

    What will never end is “speculation” on what went on in Newt’s private life.   No one really knows for certain.   We can only speculate.   How do we know if Newt’s wife on her dying bed had said to Newt “I don’t want to be married to you…get those damn papers in here for me to sign now….I want a divorce.”    Newt did just that.   We have no way of knowing what actually transpired.   What we do know, as adults, is that there are few wonderful marriages.   Newt has shown that he has had difficulty in finding the right woman.  He found Callista.   She was a willing participant and life goes on.   Happens everyday.   However, Newt is under the microscope a place most of us would never be.   I’m a realist.   I look at situations from a position of validating that people often times pick the wrong people to share their lives.   Those relationships fail.    We move on.   We try it again.

    • avatar Pdr de says:

      Sorry, but Newt is “under the microscope” because he willingly put himself there. Given the way he’s treated Obama and the nasty, untrue things he’s said about him, Mr. Gingrich deserves what he gets.

  21. avatar crystalclear says:

    I am actually tired of judgemental people.   None of us knows what goes on behind closed doors.   Behind our own doors, many of us would find a mess of things.   However, when someone steps into the political arena people are dead set on destroying them for being “normal” people with the same problems many of us experience.    We have great presidential candidates in our country but who in their right mind would step forward and let the media engage in a feeding frenzy digging up real life problems and turning them into disgusting tabloid garbage?    Look at JFK and Clinton to name only two and their sexual escapades but for some reason Newt gets crucified for having several wives.   Reagan was divorced and remarried.   I mean, does it really matter? 

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Crystal…let me be clear.

      I didn’t and wouldn’t condemn Newt for his three wives or infidelities.  Or Callista for her role as..a human being.  I was just riffing on the idea of a First Lady who might have to–because of our hypocrital, Puritanical society– “explain” or “repent” publically should her husband become the Repub candidate or even the Prez. 

      I am all for immorality.  Unless it involves the defenseless. 

      I think Newt is a terrible person.  But not because he’s had three wives.

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        I can and will condemn Mr. Pig Newton as a friend likes to call him, in reference to his being a pig in both attitude and appearance, simply because he believes his  “moral standards” doesn’t apply to him. “Do as I say, not as I do.”  Dumping one wife might be overlooked. Dumping two wives is reflective of his attitude towards women and towards marriage. Of course that explains why he married Calista. She is pretty, she has mastered the “adoring gaze” of Nancy Reagan which seems to have become the “standard” for Republican wives, and most importantly she never opens her mouth.  Although Nancy Reagan did. Usually to whisper in Ronnie’s ear what the answer to the question was. Of course we don’t know that Calista isn’t a ventriloquist, do we? 

        As for why Mitt Romney wants to be president., well, what a dumb question. Like everyone else, including Snowbama as I like to call him because of the snow job he has pulled, he wants to be “King of the World!”  And get a magic cash camel from Daddy Bush.   

        • avatar Lila says:

          There’s… there’s a magic cash camel? Where do I sign up? The only camels I have met dispensed either cud (bleah) or milk (not much better).

          • avatar Baby Snooks says:

            Oh, you can only “sign up” in the Oval Office.  One of the “perks” of “doing as you’re told.”  So, well, run for president. Daddy Bush does take care of his children.  Especially his adopted children. He knows well that to keep the children in line, you wave the checkbook. Just ask the ex-daughter-in-law Sharon. Who didn’t get a magic cash camel. But did get a check. But hurry. Clinton got the Persian Gulf, George W got Africa it seems, Obama will probably get China, although Neil Bush seems to be doing quite well although he just “wheels and deals” there, so that leaves a couple of places where you can go have lunch or dinner and be entertaining for $500,000 or so and then load the loot on the camel. And if you’re real “obedient” Mama Bush will invite you to come to Houston to be her “surprise” author. Assuming you write a book. But, well, most do. Adds to the loot.  Odd thing about the presidency. It really doesn’t pay much. But thanks to the Bush Retirement Plan it pays very well in retirement.

            Do people really think Daddy and Jeb keep dropping by the White House just for a friendly fireside chat?  Just on that basis alone I suspect Obama will win in a landslide in November. Like I said, Daddy Bush does take care of his children. 

            If Romney wins the nomination he will have to either pick someone moderate to please the moderates or a lunatic to please the Looney Tooneys.  If he picks a moderate, he loses the Looney Tooneys. If he picks a lunatic, he loses the moderates. Either way, well, some Republicans won’t vote the way they didn’t vote in 1976. I suspect Romney will pick a Looney Tooney and so Obama will win in a landslide.  Not only Democrats who fear the Looney Tooney, as we saw in 2008 but some Republicans who also fear the Looney Tooney, as we saw in 2008. 

            Easier to manipulate the nominating process than fiddling around with hanging chads and e-machines.  Daddy’s good with both.  Daddy’s just good. But also just a little evil.  

  22. avatar crystalclear says:

    Mr. Wow, seems many feel that Newt is a terrible person.   I wasn’t directing “judgemental” your way just making a comment.    I also see the point you were making.   I believe people make mistakes when choosing a life partner.   The divorce rate remains high in the US.

  23. avatar Daniel Sugar says:

    R.I.P. Whitney Houston.

  24. avatar Daniel Sugar says:

    “Please don’t get up.”

    “Nobody’s going to get up, so don’t get worried.”

  25. avatar crystalclear says:

    Sad news about Whitney Houston.      I believe she was the most talented vocalist and a gift to our country.    All we really know about her is what we’ve read in the tabloids but her failed comeback must have been devastating for her.   

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear crystalclear…

      True, but there was just nothing left of her voice.  However, she might have come back in movies.   The  release of “Sparkle” will probably be moved up. 

      I’ve always thought her version of  the “Star Spangled Banner” was perfect.  Let’s skip allowing others to sing it at the Super Bowl.  Big waste of time.  Play Whitney’s vocal and leave it there.

      • avatar crystalclear says:

        True that, Mr. Wow.   Her voice was gone perhaps due to her drug use.   People like Steve Tyler and Roseanne Barr …singing the Star Spangled Banner”   honestly…..so bad.  

      • avatar rick gould says:

        Seeing her death in the news made me think of recent ponderings about why we become depressed and often turn to alcohol or drugs. And it’s especially hard to understand with someone who seemingly had everything. I know for myself, I am damn lucky in terms of my health, financial situation, friends, etc. and still, depression and anxiety always seem right on the edge, waiting to take over. Perhaps that how it is for “successful” people who still succumb to addiction. Sad.

        • avatar crystalclear says:

          Rick, these things are hard to understand.   I do feel that at that level of stardom one could have a feeling of isolation.   I tend to relate Whitney’s issues with her husband’s drug use based on what I’ve read.   Her level of stardom can freak someone out that what they’ve already accomplished is the best they’ve got and anything more could shut them out of the limelight…as a “has been” or a “failure.”   Depression is a strange animal.  When you have everything there’s nothing to look forward to.   Perhaps that was Whitney’s demon plus the addiction to drugs being a slave to it.   The drugs own you.   She was so gifted.   It’s a crying shame isn’t it?

        • avatar Mr. Wow says:

          Dear Rick…

          Having issues of my own, there’s nothing to adequately explain depression, anxiety or an escape into drugs or drink.  It’s just there for some people.  It is for me.  Less than it was, more than is good for me.   But I believe we can fix ourselves. With help, but we can.  And this homily comes to you from someone who has not quite mastered the “fixing.”  But I live in hope. 

          • avatar crystalclear says:

            Does depression increase with age?   Is it due more to being isolated and/or is it a result of looking where we’ve been through the years and thinking we should’ve been able to do a better job of enjoying our lives and now we feel we don’t have as much time to fix it?

            Mr. Wow, why do you think you battle with depression?   I am always curious as to why good and decent people experience feelings of despair.   Is it related to key people in our lives not living up to our expectations?   Loss of someone we loved?   Chemical imbalance in our bodies?    

          • avatar Mr. Wow says:

            Dear Crystal…

            I can only speak for myself.  My depression and anxiety increased as I aged.  But I also had some fairly serious health and work-related issues hitting around the same time.  I just never got out of that funk.  I kind of think of myself as “Before” and After”  the fall. 

          • avatar Lila says:

            I think it is because life is full of loss, and the losses only accumulate.

          • avatar Mr. Wow says:

            Dear Lila…
            Maybe…but that’s so depressing for depressed people to contemplate.  In that scenario–life as loss–there’s no winning.
             
            I prefer to think I’m just nuts. 

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        Again, that line from the David Bowie song. “Fame. Takes you there, where things are hollow.”
        In her case, that was part of it. The other part of it was just the addiction. Drugs and alcohol don’t mix well. They really don’t mix well with the “bad boys.”  A friend had two “bad boys.” The “bad boys” an addiction as well. And the worst of the addictions. And Whitney died the same way my friend did. A long, slow, overdose. An overdose of “love.”

  26. avatar Paul Smith says:

    Mr. Wow, what an extraordinary idea! And a great way to immortalize a truly gifted singer at her peak. It was a stunning delivery, with youthful exuberance. It won’t happen though: too Billy Holidayish.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Paul…

      You never know.  I think next year’s Super Bowl should consider it.  Once, anyway.  She was in top form, no signs of what was to come. 

      I’m not a big super-patriot, in terms of songs and flag-waving and such, but that rendition, that passion–I want to rush out, buy a flag and wave it. 

  27. avatar crystalclear says:

    Baby Snooks, you have a vivid imagination!    *biggest grin*

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      A friend who I didn’t know knew Whitney Houston knew my friend and mentioned her and the “bad boys.” He called it “fatal addiction.” It’s interesting to watch some of the early interviews with Whitney Houston.  She really didn’t seem to be pursuing “Fame” and perhaps it merely found her. Some survive “Fame” and some don’t.  If the fans don’t get you, the entourage will. It’s been equally interesting to watch the “friends, family, and other assorted strangers” paint this “she was fine and doing well” picture of her last days. There was a sense of “deja vu” with regard to Michael Jackson.  She obviously wasn’t fine and doing well. Neither was Michael Jackson.
      The Grammys of course “had to go on.” And they “rearranged” things in a very appropriate way. Clive Davis and his party? Well, honestly, it was sort of creepy. Everyone downstairs partying while she was upstairs dead. Someone asked why they waited so long to remove her body. Apparently they were waiting until the party was over.

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      The other reply was actually a reply to someone else’s comment, crystalclear, and I have no idea how it ended up as a reply to yours. I assume you are referring to the magic cash camel. I make fun of the Bushes. Even though I take them seriously. The Bushes and the Bakers and the Candlestickmakers as I call them. But no one else takes them seriously. Or me I suppose. So why not joke about it?  Even though it’s nothing to joke about.  Eisenhower wasn’t joking about them when he warned us all about the “military-industrial complex” in his final speech. Some might say he was into conspiracy theories. I say he just paid attention while playing golf with his two buddies Prescott Bush and Allen Dulles. And was able to connect the dots. Shame no one else can in this country.

  28. avatar Deirdre Cerasa says:

    Whitney’s death was a shock but not a surprise. It is sad; always hoped she could find what she needed to recover.
    You are so right Mr.WoW, her Super Bowl performance is simply the best ever. She had such joy in the music she sang. A once in a generation voice.
    To paraphrase Barbra, it is a shame she did not feel the love that she fave to everyone who loved her music.

  29. avatar LuckyLady n/a says:

    Dear Mr. Wow:

    1.  Sorry you are not feeling up to par.
    2.  I think Florida said it all re Callista.
    3.  I was not surprised to hear of Whitney Houston’s death.
    4.  Forget Viagra for men.  After one or two kids tell him it’s vasectomy time.
    5.  Now I am getting depressed myself thinking I will have to vote by default AGAIN.

    Stay well!

  30. avatar crystalclear says:

    Baby Snooks, I honestly did not know anything about what you posted about the Bush’s etc.   I thought it would take a vivid imagination to come up with all of that.   So, now I’m curious.  What is your source…a book, etc?   I’d like to read it.   I feel like I’ve been under a rock LOL!

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      You can google “Eisenhower’s Final Speech” and pull up quite a bit. The Bushes do have their “good side” as do the Kennedys. But, well, one does have to wonder if the “good side” is part of a “guilty conscience” attempting to atone. Or perhaps just merely attempting to give the impression that they attempting to atone.  Very few are aware of that final speech by Eisenhower. It was his “last address to the nation.” We all perhaps got distracted by Camelot.

  31. avatar Barbara says:

    Very interesting string of comments. It’s great when we share thoughts.

    My thoughts: I really don’t care about Callista Gingrich. The issue of Newt’s three wives, various affairs, sudden conversion to Catholicism and repentance is how very self-serving it all is. He didn’t mind having this long-running affair while calling for impeachment of Clinton. He now sees the error of his ways? Can one say hypocrite?
    Even scarier is Santorum, Mr Keep Em Barefoot and Pregnant. He was on the Sunday talk shows talking about defending the founding principles. Does anyone remember that the founding principles were that only landowning men could vote? That slavery was just fine? And apparently having children with your slaves.
    I do think all these white men would like it just fine to go back to that. Not sure why Palin and Bachman are so riled about the founding fathers since they wouldn’t be eligible for anything other than staying home with their houseful of kids and slaves.

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      I do think all these white men would like it just fine to go back to that. Not sure why Palin and Bachman are so riled about the founding fathers since they wouldn’t be eligible for anything other than staying home with their houseful of kids and slaves.

      It is odd.  Palin and Bachman and lots of other Republican women. And some Democratic women as well.  Racism has not entirely left the Democratic Party even though we like to think otherwise. What they don’t realize is that “their men” want to return to “chattel law” and would like for them to once again become chattel. With absolutely no protections and rights under the law. About the only real protections and rights they had until the Civil Rights Act forced the issue and “family law codes” had to be changed by the states in the 1970s was the right to vote. And even then there were probably quite a few women whose husbands stood over their shoulders in the voting booth to make sure they voted for who they were told to vote for.  In many states a man was merely considered to be “protecting his property” if he shot his wife and another man in bed. But it was considered murder if a woman shot her husband and another woman in bed. Yes, those really were the “good old days” weren’t they?

  32. avatar Dan Patterson says:

    I’m behind in my reading, so I’m only now catching up with this. I do hope you are feeling better soon, Mr. Wow. And La Liz is still alive for me as well, and eternally voluptuous. I am so grateful for DVDs.

    The notion of Callista as First Lady is indeed a fascinating one. I assume you are also aware of Mrs. Santorum’s pre-marital history, shacked up with an abortionist (an MD) for years. Santorum scares the bejesus out of me for many reasons; if he is nominated, I will actively work against him. He’s a fascist at heart, make no mistake.

    Thanks also for the book recommendation. It won’t interest me, but I know just who to give it to. Get well soon!

  33. avatar Harriet Shoebridge says:

    Hello.  What to say?  You don’t sound like your usual self … but then again … I don’t imagine you signed up for this wowowow gig on the condition that you spin a ball on your nose.  Angst in all it’s splendor???  Whatever is ailing you … and none of my business … that infamous ‘play nice’ that comes with Canadiana … please know that I am sending you good vibes … ‘vibes’?!?!? … and why not … I am afterall a dinosaur and for what it’s worth, what a relief to climb the walls, sit back, and watch the dearly enclosed chasing each other around and around the maze.  Take care.  From my corner of The Great White North. 

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Harriet…

      Honey, thank you for your concern and vibes but aside from mentioning I’d been suffering from a long, nasty cold, and finally went to have tests, I think this post is my usual ranting.  But I do find it fascinating that so many people seem to have been affected by the mere mention of illness and that it cast a pall over the column.   I mean, this is nothing.  Go back and read my column of about a year ago, about my long battle with depression or the one about discoveringI was HIV positive. 

      Of course, on those I didn’t didn’t then veer off into politics, chefs or terrifying hair. 

      But I am really okay.   Even my liver and kidneys, which is a surprise, considering my margarita intake during the week!   My x-ray was perfect. 

  34. avatar JCF4612 says:

    Mr. Wow, I think we need not fret over prospects of adulterous Callista in the White House. I do worry about helmet head’s health, though, given Newt’s track record in dumping wives who felt poorly.

  35. avatar librarymom says:

    Dear Mr. WOW:

    I LOVE Guy Fieri! He is cute as a teddy bear and eats like a man who loves food.
    He’s funny, unpretentious and interesting.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Librarymom…

      I’m sure Guy is…a really nice guy.  He’s just not my kind of nice guy.  Although I love the food he presents on “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.”    I don’t like it when he makes fun of the way people pronouce certain words or their accents.   He is a guest in their kitchen.  Be polite.  And please wear shoes!

      Maybe I just can’t warm to a person who doesn’t like eggs. (ever notice–even when he is forced to eat a meal that includes eggs, he never touches them.)